BIG GIRL TIME

For the longest time, I thought “becoming her” was a destination. I imagined there would be a point in my life where everything would finally click into place. I’d have the career figured out, my faith would be unwavering, my finances would be perfect, my health goals would be met, my husband would drool over me, my kids would listen to me, and I would somehow wake up as the exact woman I had always envisioned. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that’s not really how growth works. Becoming her is not a destination at all, it’s a process.

One of the biggest lessons 25 has taught me is the importance of effort. Not perfection. Not constant motivation. Effort.

I used to think that if I couldn’t give something 100%, it wasn’t worth doing. If I wasn’t going to have a great workout, I might as well skip it. If I wasn’t going to spend an hour reading my Bible, I could do it tomorrow. If I couldn’t make a huge dent in my to-do list, I would push everything off until another day. What I’ve learned is that growth doesn’t come from those occasional perfect days. It comes from the ordinary days when you decide to show up anyway.

Some days my effort looks amazing. I wake up early, work out, spend time with God, eat well, and tackle everything on my list. Other days my effort looks like reading a single chapter of the Bible instead of several. Sometimes it looks like doing two exercises in the gym instead of a full workout. Sometimes it looks like answering one email I’ve been avoiding. The point is that I keep moving. The woman I want to become is built through consistent effort, even when that effort looks different from day to day.

I’ve also been learning what it means to be a better steward of what God has already given me. For years, I spent so much time praying for what’s next. The next opportunity. The next blessing. The next chapter. The next level. There’s nothing wrong with praying for those things, but I’ve realized that God has already entrusted me with so much.

I’ve started asking myself harder questions. Am I managing my time well? Am I taking care of the body God has given me? Am I using the gifts and talents He’s placed inside of me? Am I nurturing the relationships that matter? Am I making the most of the opportunities already in front of me?

It’s easy to focus on what we don’t have yet. It’s much harder to faithfully manage what we already possess. The older I get, the more I believe that preparation for the future often looks like stewardship in the present. If I can’t handle today’s blessings well, why would I be ready for bigger ones tomorrow?

Another thing 25 has taught me is that becoming her is not about reaching a benchmark and staying there forever. Every time I get closer to a goal, my perspective changes. The things I wanted at 20 are not the same things I want at 25. The woman I dreamed of becoming a few years ago is not exactly the woman I envision now.

As I grow, my goals grow. As I learn, my expectations for myself evolve. As God stretches me, my vision expands. What I once considered success may eventually become my starting point for the next season. That’s not failure; it’s growth.

I think sometimes we become frustrated because we keep moving the goalpost. We finally accomplish something we’ve worked toward and immediately focus on the next thing. But maybe that’s because becoming her was never supposed to have a finish line. Maybe the beauty is in the continual pursuit of growth, wisdom, and purpose. Maybe the benchmark isn’t meant to stay in one place. Maybe it’s supposed to move as we do.

The final lesson that has stood out to me this year is grace. Grace for myself and grace for others.

I can be incredibly hard on myself. I notice every mistake, every missed opportunity, every area where I fall short. Sometimes I expect perfection from myself in ways I would never expect from anyone else. At the same time, I’ve learned that extending grace to other people is just as important. Not every mistake is malicious. Not every misunderstanding is a betrayal. Not every shortcoming defines a person’s character.

People are human. They have bad days. They make mistakes. They say the wrong thing. They fall short. And if I’m being honest, so do I.

The older I get, the more I realize that accountability and grace can coexist. You can acknowledge mistakes without condemning yourself or others for them. You can learn from failures without allowing them to define you. You can recognize shortcomings while still believing in growth.

If there’s one thing I hope to carry with me beyond 25, it’s the understanding that becoming her is not about arriving. It’s about continuing. Continuing to grow. Continuing to learn. Continuing to trust God. Continuing to show up, even imperfectly.

Because at the end of the day, becoming her isn’t a single moment. It’s a lifetime of small decisions, faithful effort, better stewardship, and grace along the way.