BIG GIRL TIME

I’m not even going to lie, when I paid off $4,500 in debt, I thought life was about to reward me. Like… I really believed I was entering my “everything is aligning, money is flowing, I did my part so now it’s my turn” era. RIGHT And then? It didn’t feel like a reward at all. It felt like I got… humbled and fooled all at once.

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Here is what happened. I had aquired $4,500 in credit card debt by doing whatever I wanted to do and spending more than I had…I know I know I am working on it. I paid it off finally and then the company dropped my credit limit ALL THE WAY DOWN TO $500 dollars!!!

I couldn’t believe it. After all that work it felt like I had lost access to money that was supposed to help me in a emergency. At the time, I was honestly so frustrated. I had been disciplined, consistent, and intentional. I said no to things I wanted. I made payments when I didn’t feel like it. I stayed focused. So in my mind, I was like:

“Okay God… I did what I was supposed to do. Where’s the blessing?”

But instead of feeling ahead, I felt restricted. I felt like I had to be even more careful. Even more disciplined. And I didn’t like that. It felt like I went from freedom… right back into pressure.

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But now that I’ve had time to sit with it? I see it completely differently. Because the truth is, I didn’t just have debt. I had habits. And those habits didn’t magically disappear just because the balance hit zero.

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I had a pattern of:

• swiping my card without thinking twice
• justifying purchases because “I’ll pay it off later”
• treating my credit limit like it was extra income

And if I’m being real? Paying off that $4,500 without the reality check and changing those habits would’ve just been a reset… not a breakthrough.

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So what felt like punishment…
was actually protection.

Because if I had immediately jumped into a “reward” season without addressing the root of my behavior, I probably would’ve ended up right back where I started. I am proud to say the cutie card is still at a balance of zero.

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If you’re in a season where you feel like: “I did the right thing… so why doesn’t it feel good yet?” I just want to gently remind you: Sometimes growth doesn’t feel like a reward right away. Sometimes it feels like restriction… because you’re being stretched into something better.

Would you want me to start a financial series where I talk about the actual, real-life changes I’ve made and am making to get better with my money? Let me know in the comments but same time and place next week! TTYL!