Whew. Being a “big girl” isn’t just about paying bills or showing up to your 9–5, but it is about learning when to say no without feeling like you owe anyone an explanation.
Lately, I’ve realized that one of the hardest parts of growing up isn’t finding your rhythm, it’s protecting it. Between work, organizations, and people who don’t always respect boundaries, I’ve learned the importance of guarding my peace like it’s sacred. Because honestly…it is.
Work Boundaries 🖥️
Let’s be real, some jobs expect you to do three people’s work for one person’s pay. I love what I do, but I’ve reached the point where I no longer feel guilty for saying, “That’s not in my job description.” It doesn’t mean I’m lazy, it means I value my time, my mental health, and my worth. My job requires travel so sometimes I am in the car for hours and while it comes with so many perks like free dining, lodging, gas, etc, they also expect my office work to be getting done as if I am in the office 8 hours a day.
Setting boundaries at work isn’t disrespect, it’s discipline. I stopped checking emails after hours. I stopped overcommitting to projects that drain me. I stopped feeling bad for taking my lunch break. Because if I don’t protect my time, no one else will.
Life Outside the 9–5 ☎️
Then there’s the other side, people who call during work hours, or late at night, expecting you to drop everything. And when you don’t, they get offended. I had to learn that setting limits doesn’t make me mean, it makes me mature.
Boundaries sound like:
- “Hey, I’ll get back to you after work.”
- “Please don’t call me after 10 p.m.”
- “I’m unavailable right now.”
And that’s okay. I’ve stopped apologizing for having structure.
Old Friendships & New Seasons 🌱
This one hit deep. Some people drifted away because of their lack of effort, and I’ve made peace with that. But lately, a few of those same people have tried to come back like nothing happened, as if we can pick up right where we left off.
Here’s the thing: I’ve grown. I’ve healed. I’ve changed. And that means my boundaries have too. You can’t come back into my life expecting access to a version of me that no longer exists. Protecting my peace means acknowledging that not everyone gets to grow with me, and that’s not bitterness, that’s boundaries.
What Protecting My Peace Looks Like 💆🏽♀️
It looks like:
- Saying “no” without the guilt trip.
- Letting calls go to voicemail.
- Spending quiet weekends alone when I need to recharge.
- Choosing prayer and stillness over constant movement.
- Refusing to explain my decisions to people who were never in the arena with me.
Since setting these boundaries, I’ve felt lighter. I’ve had more energy. I’ve stopped internalizing everyone else’s chaos. It’s peaceful here, and that’s exactly how it should be.
Final Thoughts 🌸
Being a “Big Girl” means realizing that peace isn’t found, it’s protected. Every “no,” every quiet moment, every choice to prioritize yourself is a step closer to becoming the woman God is shaping you to be.
So if no one’s told you lately, stop apologizing for having boundaries. Stop shrinking to make others comfortable. Stop overextending just to feel included.
BIG GIRL TIME 
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