BIG GIRL TIME

Can I be honest with you all? I am so scared. Like not a scared where I am up at night worrying all day and stuff like that. But more so, it is just a fear that is always there but comes and goes in intensity. I just want to have a good life you know? I want to have a successful marriage and a happy home with smart kids. I want to be financially stable and be able to help my other family members out even if they do not need it. I just want to live a happy life. But when thinking about life itself and all of the decisions I have made and will make, sometimes it can be very scary. “Will it all add up? Did I make too many mistakes along the way?”

I have been thinking about this more than ever due to an upcoming move I may be partaking in that has me a bit worried. I am so excited about this time in my life but I also am just so scared. It can be hard at times to tell yourself that God is in control and that God will lead me in the path I need to go.

In my life right now I have the opportunity to move closer to my boyfriend and progress my career in a new state, or to stay close to home and continue to live with my parents and save money until a better time. The thing is I do not want to move just because I can be closer to him and the truth is that I can progress in my career whether or not I move or do not.

I have a second interview for a job on Monday and it dawned on me last night that I made it to the second interview and could very well be coming out with a job offer…am I really ready to move? Am I really ready to take this step by myself?… Updates coming soon I need to think and lay down.

TTYL